Fairly large problem

Vegas bookies handicap disaster predictions:
Place your bet on which one will get us first?


TOP TEN LIST OF THINGS MOST LIKELY TO GET YOU KILLED

3rd March 2011

You will always find an answer in the sound of water. — Chuang Tzu, ancient Chinese sage


It's like getting in your car, getting on the Interstate, and being pushed back in your seat as your vehicle accelerates. Sure, you can withstand 90 mph if you grit your teeth a little, at 140 you feel your fingers involuntarily tightening around whatever they can grab, but at 270, a whiteness starts to frame everything you see whether your eyes are opened or not, and that's when you really wish you had a mental structure in place to deal with the alien imagery of your world accelerating into total incomprehensibility.

It's like the swirl of a slurred dream as you slide under the heavy anesthesia of an endless array of disaster scenarios. The profusion of YouTube videos predicting a litany of imminent catastrophes from a HAARP-provoked New Madrid earthquake fault detonation got me thinking about all this. It distracted me, actually, from pondering a sudden tsunami arising from the Gulf of Mexico and flushing me with all the other debris about a hundred miles east of my humble home near the shore, where with my luck I would land in the FEMA prison camp at Avon Park in the middle of Florida's Everglades swamp. Then I realized that both of these disaster scenarios were really one and the same.

Tectonic paranoia, they call it. But it is just one of . . . very many very real and very scary things that eat at the fringes of our minds' self-confidence these days. It's not as if we don't know what's going on, we think, but then we realize that we really and profoundly DON'T know what's going on. We don't know who we are, really, what we believe, OR, most portentously, what the hell we're doing. We only know that the array of potential disasters staring us in the face is enough to send us scurrying to the medicine cabinet for some Xanax. Over time I've found that the most reliable way to evaluate the future possibility of any particular scenario is to consult your local bookmaker, who — like the worldwide network of B'nai B'rith operations spreading Jewish perfidy and deceit throughout the world — is wired into a worldwide network of betting men, who cut to the chase better than anybody else. So having some familiarity with sports betting and calculating odds of probability — no, I'm not a card counter, only a hunch playing epidemiologist — I would presume to present to you the latest odds from Vegas on what is ultimately going to do us all in (includes special list of things most likely to get you killed).

Here are the nominees:

• Blood poisoning/infection, 3 to 1
• Organotronic government brain manipulation, 2 to 1
• Nuclear war, even money
• Meteor strike, 9.5 to 1
• Tectonic shocks, 2 to 1
• Unbreathable air, 3 to 1
• Poisoned oceans, even money
• Natural causes, 1,000,000 to 1
• Frankenfoods, even money
• Prescription drugs, 1 to 7
• Alien invasion, 3 to 1
• Fake alien invasion, 2 to 1
• Taxes, even money
• Starvation, even money
• Jewish ritual sacrifice, 1 to 10
• Serving in foreign war, 1 to 13
• Speaking out against Jews, even money
• Disintegration from within (they have several different technologies that can do this), even money
• T-cell manipulation, 2 to 1
• Mass detonation of Morgellon nanobots in people's bloodstreams, 2 to 1
• Mass suicide of Prozac users on command, 1 to 2
• Mass suicide of U.S. soldiers chemically programmed to self destruct, 1 to 2
• Pole shift, even money
• Galactic synchronization, even money
• Genetic erasure of all recognizable human tendencies, even money
• Assassination by government hit squad, 3 to 1
• Betrayal by friends, 10 to 1
• Betrayal by acquaintances, 5 to 1
• Betrayal by non Jews, even money
• Betrayal by Jews, off the board
• Death sentence pronounced by fundamentalist religious government, 2 to 1
• Suicide (some bets are best kept secret)
• Israeli missile nuking European capital, 2 to 1
• Spreading the Gaza treatment all over the world, even money
• Killed by accident, 100,000 to 1
• Black hole, even money
• White hole, 1 to 2
• Galactic beam making everything invisible, 3 to 1
• Sunstorm, even money
• Mayan end of time, 2 to 1
• Worldwide chemical poisoning by pharmaceutical companies, 2 to 1
• Fentanyl treatment at sports venues, 5 to 1
• Assassination by dart on subway, 4 to 1
• Complications from surgery following forced donation of kidney to rabbi, even money
• Fatal poisoning at doctor's office, even money
• Execution by IRS hit squad, 2 to 1
• Death by prescription drugs, 1 to 5
• Chinese repossession of American properties it bought, 1 to 2
• Beheading ordered by rabbi, even money
• Murdered for fun by Israeli soldier, 1 to 3

And then the guy in the black robe whispers from a dark corner: "We all live forever. Didn't you know?" And since time immemorial, you always have been sorely tempted to believe him.

This bet is taken off the board, because everyone gets to decide their own question and answer; this is the basis of all human science that has been abandoned in favor of herd dogmatism. No question, though; the odds on this can be unexpectedly fatal. As human society careens toward its problematic future with all the dignity of a drunken sailor, as a bonafide dilettante bookie, I recommend keeping one betting factor in mind as the coming days unfold their contrived misery upon us.

China is growing like a giant bubble about to engulf the world with its borglike uniformity, but in their prison is perhaps the lesson all of us need to learn for the future. It is clearly reflected in all of their ancient literature, particularly as I observed it in the Thomas Merton translations of Chuang Tzu, that the way out of all this is the way in, and the path to the universe, our future, and peace among the stars is really in the diamond's eye in the rain. It is best seen in the diamond's eye of a dewdrop on the fuzzy green petal of the flower of our lives. The way out is the way in. Please don't ask me about this. I can only tell you that the diamond's eye in the rain is the doorway to astral flight, which guarantees our representation in the congress of the universal heaven. Consult Chuang Tzu and your own heart for further details. And then get to work.

But before you do, place your bet. Examine the tote board. Who are the favorites in this insane game we are playing with our planet? What's the best bet on the cause of your own death?

Here's what Vegas would say:

Natural causes? A million to one.


John Kaminski is a writer who lives on the Gulf Coast of Florida, urging people to understand that no problem in the world can be authentically addressed without first analyzing tangents caused by Jewish perfidy, which has subverted and diminished every aspect of human endeavor throughout history. Support for his work is wholly derived from people who can understand what he’s saying and know what it means.

250 N. McCall Rd. #2,
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